Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Self Forgiveness’

 

Progress. Looking at the dictionary definition: Moving forward or onward in space or time, that’s progress. Develop towards something better, that’s progress.

 

So in this world ‘progress’ has been re-styled as an ideal connected up with science and technology. As such it is a desirable, because ‘better’ technology means, what? More effective weapons? More effective control? More effective entertainment systems? Means that we are ‘winning’ more effectively in our economic competition between ‘countries’? Means that we can travel faster? Means that we can look forward to having new things turning up in our consumer outlets? Means that we can do away with our old systems so as to buy upgrades? Is this what technology is for, to enhance and refresh and protect our consumer experience?

 

The development of the consumer society rests on encouraging the self interested ego in beings, encouraging desires to win, to look better, to buy things to sate their appetites, to be entertained, to be constantly distracted. While scarcity of money means a constant fear of survival and a constant need to reward oneself for the toils of work. Fear of a broader kind is fostered through false and biassed information from the media which is used to create a false reality bubble within which this consumer desire can flourish. Meanwhile the powers that be can go about furthering their ends without dissent. This means mostly raping and swindling other countries for their resources. It would be a stable system if it wasn’t for the rampant nature of greed and the finite quantity of physical resources.

 

The rampant nature of Greed. Why is this? What is ‘Greed’? It is like an extreme form of desire which is coupled up with competition and jealousy and the need to win, hence the desire to have more than others, and the acceptance of others to have less. It is a characteristic of ego as Self imprisoned into a systematic trap of self-interest. Rampant  ego in self interest as a lie, trapped forever in being a lie, an absolute denial of Self as Life.

 

Living in a world of deception we have a system founded on and sustained by lies, which educates beings into becoming  possessed as egos of self interest, who are encouraged to give away their power and self responsibility, who vote according to the demands and reactions of their own systems of self abuse so as to feed their cravings for energy and their addictions, while those who have the power pander to and exploit the desires of their subjects for the sake of more and more power to somehow make heaven on earth for themselves within the unreality of their minds. Demonocracy.

 

 

So practically, what can be done for actual democracy to become possible? Everybody has to know about the universal tools of Self Forgiveness and Self Correction, everybody has to see that Self Change and Self Realisation is possible. I have to utilize this internet technology so that it supports Life, mass-communicate the message of equality, share the process of Self Forgiveness and Self correction, these methods and tools of Actual Self Change so that it will reach as many people as possible, so that we can reach out beyond the boundaries of this mind control, give back to ourselves our power, our self responsibility, give back to ourselves our Self as Life. This is the task which has been taken on by Destonians.

 

Come and join us! Let’s make realisation of Equality go Viral, so that together we can bring in an Equal Money System and put a start to actual progress of humanity in which all are walking in the same direction, in which a world democracy is a constant first vote by living beings for World Equality and what is Best for All.

 

 

more information: www.desteni.co.za

www.equalmoney.org

 

———-

SF

 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a being that fosters and exploits the reactions of others as systems so as to get money, so as to win, so as to feel better about myself and for not realising how within this I am accepting and allowing myself to be totally possessed and exploited by my own system.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a being obsessed with winning and for not allowing myself to see that in doing this I am creating the circumstances in which I can win, such as competition, conflict and war.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in ‘technological progress’ as a thing in itself and for not allowing myself to realise that the only technological progress possible is how effectively it can support Life.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the system in which I live as demonic, and for not allowing myself to realise that the system which I describe is a direct reflection of the system of myself and how I am in my own consciousness.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as demonic and for being unwilling to face that the only demon is the energy of my mind attempting to simulate life while I am absent from who I am in abdication of my responsibility.

Read Full Post »

I have a work in front of me now in cleaning up one of my essential tools which is the word ‘No’. This seems like a vast piece of work to do but I will not let that ‘vastness’ be a justification for not making a start.

A picture comes up in my mind of a huge ‘Yes’ written across the sky as the name of my energetic world of consent to everything.

Saying ‘No’ in a ‘Yes’ world is taboo. There are energetic safeguards to stop this happening, built in seductions of my resolve. My responsibility is now to undo the measures which I have put in for my own protection as the system. This complicity I have had within my relationship to and as myself as mind as an ongoing chain reaction of resigned consent, it has to stop with the word ‘No’.

Therefore I have to take out this word and look at how I have defined and lived it. In order to live ‘No’ as a simple expresion of what I will not accept, I have now to disconnect the energetic constructs which I have allowed to accumulate within it, me. Having connected fear to the word ‘No’ I am accepting and allowing self as mind as fear of fear when I act to avoid saying ‘No’, thus in saying ‘No’ to myself as consciousness, I am self sabotaging myself by affirming consciousness in giving reality to fear so that in effect in this situation ‘No’ doesn’t mean ‘No’ at all but ‘Yes’. My ‘No’ has been undermined, it is ineffective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the state of this word ‘No’ in who and how I am as an excuse to falter in my resolve to change myself and be the change of self, instead of realising that this word has back doors built into it with my consent so that I can continue to be ineffective in ‘trying’ to change, continue to be a victim in my relationship to myself, continue to see self responsibility postponed till later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write in a secret get-out clause within the word ‘No’ by accepting and allowing myself to connect fear with the word ‘No’.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that in accepting these conditions in myself I am also accepting them for and as others so that the consequence is a world in which the effect of the word ‘No’ has been neutralised.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that in saying ‘No’ to the systems in fear I am accepting myself as the system and within this have lost touch with myself as who I am so that the ground on which I stand seems to fall away beneath me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear this feeling of the ground falling away beneath my stand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within this as fear of fear and of fear of fear of fear and for not allowing myself to realise that within this vortex I am accepting and allowing mind possession within this starting point of my belief in fear.

When and as I say ‘No’, I say ‘No’ in the simplicity and clarity of myself as No, I do not accept this. I breathe. Every time I say No to myself as the system where once I would have allowed Yes, I am stronger in myself as Self as Life and with this No I take back bit by bit my power as Self as Life.

For more information on Self Forgiveness and word purification go to http://www.desteni.co.za

Read Full Post »

Continuing to dismantle this ME-ality, this Mind Energetic Reality, which I have accepted and allowed as Here, Breath by Breath.

Waking up, opening up my eyes to face self has been for me a fearful process, a process in which I did not allow myself to see that this connection with fear was showing me a version of self which I had created within and as my mind.

What else has there ever been but this facing of self and avoidance of facing of self. And what of this creation of fear which I have accepted and allowed and then separated from as if it was the single enduring proof in my life that what I am here is this mind which exists separate to and less than this feature of my experience which I have called fear?

Writing this I remember how as a child I had repeated dreams in which I had ‘been chased’ into the dead end represented by the top of a building which had no rails around the edge so that it seemed and then was inevitable that I was drawn to and over the edge. Looking at this now it seems as if my dream reality was like a course in which I was practicing the reaction of fear, running away from something or falling off something. What I was establishing my faith in was running away from fear, or falling into fear, justifying these activities with pictures and stories. While in my body I was connecting over and over fear with this unpleasant sensation of a charge in my solar plexus. In the dream I seem to have been compiling the programme of fear of being unable to escape from fear, as fear of fear; and fear of having no control over fear, as fear of fear, or fear of being enslaved to fear as fear of fear.

Coming back to avoidance of facing self, in which statement fear is explicitly entwined with self, I am accepting and allowing fear of self. Opening up my eyes when I wake up in the morning I am facing self, if I do this as self in fear, then I am waking up not in the real world but in a mind projected reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in fear and for allowing myself to connect fear to fear so that I exist trapped within and as my beliefs as fear of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and escape from fear and for not allowing myself to realize that in doing this I am sabotaging myself within by accepting escape as real, then fear as real also.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no control over fear and for not allowing myself to realize that in seeking to control fear I am acting in fear of fear and continuing to live in the world of the mind in which I have accepted fear as real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being enslaved by fear and for not allowing myself to realize that in fearing being enslaved by fear I am acting in fear of fear and thus creating the enslavement which I fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect this unpleasant sensation in my solar plexus to fear and for not allowing myself to realize that in fearing this sensation in my body I am acting in fear of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define reality according to my beliefs in the thoughts in my mind, and for not allowing myself to realize that if I am living in a reality defined by the thoughts in my mind then the reality in which I live is no different to a dream world.

Nightmares, myself as a series of the same nightmare. Myself as fear of fear.

Having a special word for these dreams seemed to confirm that they had some form of reality, that they existed having being given a special word. The special word was ‘nightmare’, a horse of the night. Accepting and allowing fear of and as myself I had no wish to enquire any further what and why it should be named as such. Better to leave that knowledge ‘unopened’ I must have thought, in fear, so as not to possibly re-experience the fear which was for me the inner essence of the word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a ‘nightmare’ could exist as separate from me because it had a special word for what it was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘nightmare’ to fear and thus in fear of nightmares accepting and allowing myself as fear of fear.

I remember how I would ‘come’ to a ‘place’ in my sleep or in my transition out of ‘waking’ (lol) consciousness when I would recognize the signs of a ‘nightmare’ being about to ‘arrive’, and then it was ‘too late’. It would be as if I was strapped on to a conveyer belt so that it was inevitable that I would go into this experience which I had defined as a nightmare.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘there is nothing I can do’, and that ‘I cannot move myself’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the victim of my own experience in which I had abandoned and suppressed my own responsibility as myself within the experience of my mind.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that the ‘inevitability’ of the coming nightmare was me experiencing myself as my mind as fear of fear. Because the dreams which I remember were all ‘repeater’, ‘re-occurring’ dreams, ‘nightmares’, they were actually re-occurring memories of dreams.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as less than my memories in which I had accepted and allowed myself to be a victim to these memories, in which I accepted and allowed these memories as real instead of realizing and understanding that these were pictures, thoughts within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to programme myself within reacting over and over again to a memory, a story which I am telling myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in a story which I am telling myself in which I define myself as fear of fear.

For more information about this process go to: www.desteni.co.za

Read Full Post »

Previous post: what I have been describing is me showing myself through observations of others how it is that I stop myself from changing in order to hang on to myself as I know myself to be, as this tried and tested system of self dishonesty for survival.

I have been seeing and experiencing this cut off point in communication as if in another person rather than allowing myself to see what I am in fact doing myself so that I can protect myself from seeing in what way I am hiding from myself and continue to be preserving the secret of myself so that I can experience myself staying safe within not changing.

In every moment of faith in my own safety within remaining who I am as this tried and tested me which I revert into when challenged as a stand I am re-creating fear in which I am make-believing that I am in danger of being cornered or else being up against a wall. The strength that I experience in this denial is my decision to remain in safety and to continue to create the fear.

At the communications cut-off point, there is a failure of trust; that I will remain. There is a realisation here which I do not want to see, which is of myself as a bubble. That what I am defending as myself is nothing more than an idea of who I am. I realise now that to be in fear of this is what feeds it, makes it real.

To walk through this one, to be one and equal with it I have to face this self idea, see what it is, face the secret which I have hidden from myself which only can be done remaining in awareness of self as breath here. To not allow this communication cut off with myself. This failure of self trust is the same as allowing myself to be swept off again into the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect secrecy to power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in secrecy connected to power as a principle of preserving myself as the illusion I have accepted myself to be.

Read Full Post »

 

It’s been another back-chat attack. It seems to come up in a swarm sometimes. And what do the voices say? The general tone is in self judgement. The statements are all things like: you can’t say that, you are being dishonest, you don’t know what you’re talking about, this is pretentious, this is you presenting yourself as something which you aren’t, this is patronising, this is bullshit, and don’t go into this, leave that till later, that’s too big to grasp right now.

and this one

…’If you say this, you’re going to have to go into that, and you don’t want to do that, because if you do people will find out who you really are’…

This specific back-chat objection to me writing shows me clearly:

1) The starting point of hiding from myself and apparently protecting myself at the same time.

2) Also shows me again this point about validation of self acceptance from outside. If I expose Self then I am risking this vital validation from outside on which I am dependent, which I am not allowing Self to give to Self.

3) There is a fear of losing control of the situation in ‘having to’ go into ‘that’.

4) There is a voice telling me what I want to do.

5) This voice is predicting by implication that something bad will happen.

6) My starting point in and as energy in thinking in my head (a-head) what I might possibly write.

 

Interesting how both the words ‘guard’ and ‘security’ are two-sided. There is the guard who keeps me secured, tied-up in a prison cell, and the guardian who gives me security in being safe. This voice in my head is both threatening and kind at the same time. This shows me something of the nature of this mind consciousness system as how I have accepted it to be.

 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear where it might possibly lead if I were to start exposing Self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being judged.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to change my behaviour according to my fear of being judged.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give a voice to my fear of judgement within backchat in my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to participate in thought, to participate in these configurations of energy in my mind and to allow myself to be guided my them by stopping myself in my own expression of myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing or accepting myself to see what it is that I am doing by writing what is happening and committing the words into physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel guilt in which I have accepted my own negative judgements about my own being.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to put faith and trust into my own negative judgements about myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am less than the energy system which I have created.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  stand as the energy system which I have created by allowing myself to be judgement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to come from and be as judgement as the starting point of who I am.

I forgive myself for not allowing or accepting myself to stand one and equal to this energy system which I have created and lived as so that I may no longer be enslaved by it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the stance of judgement is a safe place to be instead of realising that judgement is an unreal construct of the mind and that by allowing myself to be this I am actually abdicating from the reality of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that this stance of judgement is protecting me when really it is supporting my fear of being myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a system as myself in which I am simultaneously running away from and supporting fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear loss of control within my writing in which I risk losing validation from outside of my own self acceptance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attempt to manipulate others through my writing so as to maintain validation from outside of my own self acceptance.

 

 

Read Full Post »