I have a work in front of me now in cleaning up one of my essential tools which is the word ‘No’. This seems like a vast piece of work to do but I will not let that ‘vastness’ be a justification for not making a start.
A picture comes up in my mind of a huge ‘Yes’ written across the sky as the name of my energetic world of consent to everything.
Saying ‘No’ in a ‘Yes’ world is taboo. There are energetic safeguards to stop this happening, built in seductions of my resolve. My responsibility is now to undo the measures which I have put in for my own protection as the system. This complicity I have had within my relationship to and as myself as mind as an ongoing chain reaction of resigned consent, it has to stop with the word ‘No’.
Therefore I have to take out this word and look at how I have defined and lived it. In order to live ‘No’ as a simple expresion of what I will not accept, I have now to disconnect the energetic constructs which I have allowed to accumulate within it, me. Having connected fear to the word ‘No’ I am accepting and allowing self as mind as fear of fear when I act to avoid saying ‘No’, thus in saying ‘No’ to myself as consciousness, I am self sabotaging myself by affirming consciousness in giving reality to fear so that in effect in this situation ‘No’ doesn’t mean ‘No’ at all but ‘Yes’. My ‘No’ has been undermined, it is ineffective.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the state of this word ‘No’ in who and how I am as an excuse to falter in my resolve to change myself and be the change of self, instead of realising that this word has back doors built into it with my consent so that I can continue to be ineffective in ‘trying’ to change, continue to be a victim in my relationship to myself, continue to see self responsibility postponed till later.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write in a secret get-out clause within the word ‘No’ by accepting and allowing myself to connect fear with the word ‘No’.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that in accepting these conditions in myself I am also accepting them for and as others so that the consequence is a world in which the effect of the word ‘No’ has been neutralised.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise that in saying ‘No’ to the systems in fear I am accepting myself as the system and within this have lost touch with myself as who I am so that the ground on which I stand seems to fall away beneath me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear this feeling of the ground falling away beneath my stand.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within this as fear of fear and of fear of fear of fear and for not allowing myself to realise that within this vortex I am accepting and allowing mind possession within this starting point of my belief in fear.
When and as I say ‘No’, I say ‘No’ in the simplicity and clarity of myself as No, I do not accept this. I breathe. Every time I say No to myself as the system where once I would have allowed Yes, I am stronger in myself as Self as Life and with this No I take back bit by bit my power as Self as Life.
For more information on Self Forgiveness and word purification go to http://www.desteni.co.za